He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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