my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
