I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
