Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
