yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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