Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
