well you can't waste a boner
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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