The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
