While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
