Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
