Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You can't motorboat a personality
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
