Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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