We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
