I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i think im in europe. pls send help
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
God, I missed his penis.
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