You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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