Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
