I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
