I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
