so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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