Don't you send me to vm
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
