Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
