We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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