Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
