so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
