i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i out mim tonsoeep
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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