Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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