I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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