I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
