Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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