I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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