mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
