I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
