Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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