What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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