why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
