I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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