I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
