I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
