someone threw a dead crab at me
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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