its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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