So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
