i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
