"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
