I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
