Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
