I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
