You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
