Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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