i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It was confusing and full of hummus
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Randomize
