Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How external is "for external use only"?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
